
“The best-laid schemes o’ mice an ‘men
Gang aft agley.”
–Robert Burns
Don’t ask me why, but I seem to have an preternatural ability to find trouble.
Things start simply enough… I find some bright, shiny, new fascination and I proceed to track down any and all available information about it. But frequently, in following the path of delectable tidbits, I forget to look up and take notice of my broader surroundings. And, sooner or later, this eventually leads to me stumbling into trouble.
I have a sneaking suspicion that if I were ever cast as a character in a fairy tale, I would be inside the witch’s oven and approaching a temperature of 350 degrees before I looked up and muttered to myself: “Hmm. That’s strange. What happened to the really cool gingerbread house? Wasn’t I supposed to be checking out the licorice gables? Where, exactly, am I?”
All of this is my feeble attempt at leading up to an rational explanation of why, in my recent pursuit of researching earthships in Taos, New Mexico, I found myself buried in a snow drift up to the hood of my rented Jeep on an unnamed, unlighted, road twenty miles outside of Taos around 10 PM at night with a snowstorm rolling in.
In my defense, when I got stranded on a back road outside of Taos, I had a full tank a gas, several layers of warm clothes, a 4-wheel–drive vehicle, a laptop with a cellular modem and 12-volt adaptor, a AAA card that was up-to-date, and cell service on both of my two phones.
So I didn’t panic when I first realized I seemed well and thoroughly stuck. Things started to look a little more grim, however, when I called AAA and had to spend the better part of 20 minutes trying to explain first to the customer service rep and then her manager, what the hell an earthship was and why I couldn’t give them a name of the road on which I was stranded. And, once I managed to successful navigate that hurdle, it turned out that the ONE tow service AAA used in the area wasn’t answering their phone. AAA couldn’t give me even a rough estimate when they might be able to get someone out to try to find and assist me.
I thanked AAA for their time and asked them to call me back when they were able to reach the tow service or state patrol. Then, I dialed my friend Warren Faidley. In case you’ve never heard that name, Warren Faidley is the madman you see on CNN reporting from the heart of most bits of bad weather in the United States. He’s a journalist who makes his living as a storm chaser. Warren’s idea of a good time is reporting from the eye of a hurricane in the Gulf Coast up to his chin in water with nothing more than his flashlight for light.
Warren and I have been friends for several years, now. And, more than once, Warren has come flying unsolicited to my rescue. Sometimes even when I actually needed the help. One of Warren’s recent projects has been writing a book titled: The Ultimate Storm Survival Handbook. So Warren seemed like the natural next number to call.
The phone call went something like this… “Warren, hey, it’s Steph. Oh, not much. Look–I don’t want you to go into DefCon 5 or anything. I’m okay. Really. Don’t freak out or anything. But I seem to find myself buried in a snowdrift outside of Taos. And I don’t think anybody’s going to be coming to help for awhile.”
“Uh, yeah. I know you gave me a copy of your book. But, uh, I really didn’t make it past the section on flooding. I sort of skim-read from there. Would you mind reminding me what the hell I’m supposed to do in a snowstorm? The only thing I remember from that section is that, in a pinch, I can drink my own urine to stay hydrated. But I don’t think I’m quite there, yet.”
To his credit, once he finished laughing his ass off, Warren patiently walked me through making sure my exhaust pipe was uncovered so I wouldn’t gas myself out if I ran the Jeep through the night to stay warm and how to try to extricate myself from the drift using my vehicle’s four-wheel-drive. He also coached me on how to make the Jeep’s battery and gas last as long as possible.
About that time in Warren’s pep talk, someone with sharp eyes who was driving along HWY 64, spotted my hazard lights in the distance and braved the unmarked side road to see if I was okay. He was an old-generation Taos native on his way back to his ranch in a battered old pickup truck with chains.
With my Good Samaritan’s help, I was able to back the Jeep out of the drift, and sheepishly find my way back to the correct unmarked road that held the earthship where I was staying the night.
Warren made me call him back as soon as I was done dealing with my rescuer to assure him I hadn’t been carried off into white slavery. And then again when I’d found the right earthship.
As I thanked Warren for his help and wished him a goodnight, his parting comment was: “I’ll say one thing about you Steph. Your calls are never boring.” So I guess I have that one small thing going for me, right?
Anyway, I’ll fill you in on how I managed to get myself stuck in a snowdrift in the first place when I post my review of the Hut Earthship later this week. I think that’s enough self-humbling details for one day.